Rebecca & Ethan's Story

As a young girl, Rebecca always envisioned herself being a mother to multiple children.  From early on, Rebecca took every opportunity to surround herself with children, whether it be through babysitting for the families in the neighborhood, (starting at age 12!), or surrounding herself with her younger cousins, being around children and showering them with love was something that came naturally.  

 

After graduating nursing school and marrying the love of her life Ethan, who also dreamt of being a father one day, Rebecca and Ethan decided life was too short to wait for “the perfect timing”.  They knew they wanted to be parents and were ready to welcome that blessing into their lives.  

 

Rebecca and Ethan were incredibly blessed, and shocked, to find that they got pregnant right away in early November, 2019.  Their hope for the future blossomed as they pictured holding their baby in their arms that next July.  After a great first prenatal visit with their midwife and thriving off the high that hearing their baby’s heartbeat gave them, it was hard to believe that anything could ever go wrong.  Until it did.

 

At their next prenatal appointment, Rebecca and Ethan heard the words that no expectant mother ever wants to hear or believes they will hear… 

 

“I am sorry, but your baby has no heart beat…”

 

How could it be?  Rebecca was a healthy 26-year-old woman.  She got pregnant easily.  She took her prenatal vitamins religiously.  This couldn’t happen.  This shouldn’t happen to her.  But it did.  

 

Rebecca had what was called a “missed miscarriage”, meaning the pregnancy had ended but her body showed no symptoms.  No cramping, no bleeding, so signs that the life blossoming within her was gone. Rebecca ended up having a D&C (dilation and curettage), which was a surgery to remove the “products of conception”, as her lost baby was called by the healthcare team.  

 

After the surgery and the initial shock wore off, the pain came flooding in.  Like a knife in the heart and gut, twisting over and over, Rebecca and Ethan tried to heal their hearts by leaning into each other and hoping that the dark time would pass and they could again begin their family.  After all, miscarriage is common and happens to 1 in 4 women.  What are the chances it could happen again?

 

At the beginning of 2020, as their hearts began to heal, Rebecca and Ethan prepared themselves for a chance to start again, to try again.  However, the COVID-19 pandemic which took over the world in March 2020 changed their plans, as Rebecca was a nurse working on the COVID ICU.  The high risk of contracting a still unknown illness, as well as the stress of the job was not a suitable situation to start a pregnancy, so they decided to delay their plans to try again.

 

In August 2020, after Rebecca started a new job where work/life balance was a little healthier, Rebecca and Ethan decided to try again.  To their surprise, again, they got pregnant right away.  “This time has to be different”, Rebecca and Ethan told themselves and each other. 

 

After a strong heartbeat was detected in their baby and they made it to 10 weeks of pregnancy, past the point of their first loss, Rebecca and Ethan felt assured that this had to be it.  That they were “out of the woods”. However, that was unfortunately not the case, for at their next appointment they heard those devastating words again.

 

“I’m sorry, but your baby has no heart beat…”

 

How could this happen again? Why?  The pain came flooding back.  

 

“I feel it’s time for you to meet with a specialist…” Rebecca’s midwife gently told her.  Rebecca and Ethan agreed.

 

After meeting with a reproductive endocrinologist and a full workup, it was determined that Rebecca had polycystic ovarian syndrome, also known as PCOS.  Normally, PCOS makes getting pregnant difficult, however, this was not the case for Rebecca, so the doctors reassured Rebecca that she could try again and hopefully this was all just a case of bad luck.  But in February of 2021, their worst nightmare came true again, after getting pregnant, they experienced their third loss.

 

Fast forward to October 2021, after two years of trying to start their family and an intense IVF cycle, Rebecca and Ethan transferred their one and only healthy embryo in hopes that this would be the blessing they were praying for.  In May of 2022, after the pain of three losses, an infertility diagnosis, IVF, and a high risk and very high anxiety pregnancy, Rebecca and Ethan welcomed their beautiful rainbow baby boy into their family.  

 

Because of the wonderful support given to Rebecca and Ethan during their journey, Rebecca felt it was her responsibility to provide the same support for others.  She would not have been able to make it through if it was not for the kindness and compassion of her medical team, her family and friends, and the various other sources of infertility and miscarriage support that she sought.  It was out of her journey and the kindness of others that the vision for The Daffodil Room began.